That Drifting Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! It's the Television Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we consider the television offerings of the past year, a handful of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from awkward sequels to bafflingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with dreadful scripts, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. Briefly, as the final series began, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It concluded on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, viewers certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare zero star review, it was hard to know where to begin listing the flaws. The laughably leaden dialogue? The tedious glorification of affluence and consumption? The seemingly wilful parade of tropes? Performances so bad they felt almost spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the legal troubles, abuse claims and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have known it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which felt a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, identity, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Rather, the viewing was like reading a marketing catalogue. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a programme that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.

Too Much

How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a discovery that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – intellectuals frankly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for explicit escapades as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.